A new year and all that , resoloutions and directions.
Lately I’ve been thinking alot about motivation. Being lazy. Self belief . Lack of confidence. Navel gazing.
Is there something that you think that you just can’t do? That you’re just ‘not good at’ ?
With me it’s baking. And there are other things. Given up before I’d started. Didn’t see the point in trying. Believed I’d fail.
Yesterday I made twelve cakes. Today I made twelve more. There is something very pleasing about a cake tin holding twelve cakes. No more No less. I like to hear the soft paper Plop-dropping as expectant cake cases land in each tinny crater waiting fecund for each sweet dollop to come home.
I didn’t think that I could bake. I used to buy cake mixes. The cakes never tasted very nice. I was scared of cake recipes. I believed that other people could bake cakes but that I couldn’t. That I wasn’t privy to that secret cake making knowledge. That I wasn’t on the guestlist where others were with the band.
At first it looked like all the others. Nothing special. But it was the first cake recipe that played ball with me. It liked me. It rewarded my efforts with cake.
Using what you’ve got
I like cupboard cooking. Happy accident cooking. Using what’s there. Without having to go out and buy. One recipe. Lots of variations.
Yesterday chocolate chip cupcakes – left over chocolate coins; the last tablespoon of hot chocolate in the cupboard ; a rediscovered bar of fairtrade orange spice dark chocolate melted to harden tops. Today Lemon Drizzle cakes. Found a nearly empty box of crystallized orange and lemon slices ,chopped up,fab on tops.
The proof of the pudding
The most amazing thing though is that my cakes had compliments. My cakes – compliments! Who’d have thought it? Definately not me, that’s for sure.
I’ve had to concur that, actually,maybe I’m not quite as bad at baking as I’d convinced myself I was. And if that goes for baking then maybe, just maybe, it might go for other stuff too.
We all do it don’t we, put limitations upon ourselves. This week a small tray of cakes made me think that maybe it is time that I stopped doing that. And about what could be possible if I did.
So that’s my plan for 2011. Anybody care to join me?