This started off being about a garden – but now I’ve realised that it’s about a lot more…..

Ok. Hello. For the last few months I have been gardening. I have been gardening for years – nothing new there. We have been tending the same garden for years – nothing new there. But over recent weeks something has been happening that could not be ignored. The garden has started speaking to me.

Or , rather, everything in it – the animals, the trees, the plants and the flowers, the wind, the rain – the life force, the energy.   

Other things have been happening too. Things that look separate but that I now know are connected.  It all started when I gave birth to my second child.

For a long time , many years, I had worked alot. Self employed as it were.  But it wasn’t just that – for a long time , yes, many years – I had been busy. Not just busy as in ‘rushed off my feet’  , no, something else too : busy  as in asleep.   

On a practical level I was exhausted. Two children,both under the age of six.Something had to give before I did. So I gave up running my own business. It was a blessed relief.

Around this time ,I started having these dreams. Strange dreams that took me back to times in my life that I thought were buried away for ever.And not only that , – I started , in that strange and curious state when my head had  just touched the pillow ,between being awake and falling into sleep – going back , retracing the events in my life upto  the present day. This happened over a number of nights, maybe seven or ten. I began to wonder if I was going to die soon, if there was a reason for all of this – why was this flooding my head and my senses ? Why now ? 

Somewhere in the middle of all this I hit 40. I didn’t welcome it but I knew that it was inevitable, like the tide coming in. 

I gardened. It was still difficult to find the time what with looking after the children & the needs of the household. But I managed to find it – an hour here (that was on a good day),fifteen minutes here, ten minutes there (more usually).

And as I gardened something began to happen within me , and within our household. A shift. A seismic shift within myself . Whatever is happening here is happening still.

The garden told me to write this blog.

So that is what I am going to do.


About In a Welsh Garden

Artist,Illustrator,Pro-face and body painter,Blogger and Happy Gardener : )
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9 Responses to This started off being about a garden – but now I’ve realised that it’s about a lot more…..

  1. carolinesmailes says:

    And I’m so glad that the garden did x

  2. Wow. So this is where it starts… I didn’t read this before. Is it OK that I come and read here? You will say if not as it seems very personal somehow. Joanna

  3. : ) – hello – yes, it’s absolutely fine that you read it !- I guess that it does seem personal ; when i first started the blog I hadn’t opened it up for anyone to read it, I was nervous of doing so, but then Caroline (Smailes)a very good and dear friend of mine encouraged me to put it out there (well, she just did it lol)and after that there was no going back : D … i have heard a lot of stories about how gardening and working with nature has changed people and effected great changes/healing even – Monty Don springs to mind as being a great advocator of this … so it just seemed like the natural thing to do really in the blog , to just tell it how it is happening, day on day … as it happens I’m really enjoying the writing side of it too so all in all it is proving to be a very interesting time …most of all though it is fantastic connecting with other gardeners/creators (including your good self !)all working in harmony with nature and exchanging information & ideas…. I just * heart* blogging ….. and I’ll be visting yours later as well : D

  4. Did you read Candide at school, Voltaire? French? The punch line of that strange satirical story written so long ago : ‘il faut cultiver son jardin’. After Candide travels all over the place, and all the disasters that ensue, that it his conclusion.

    It is necessary, absolutely necessary for one’s sanity almost, to tend one’s garden.

  5. Do you know, I didn’t,but now I shall. And I agree : )

  6. I’m not particularly recommending it as a great read, it’s one of those school books that they made us read for exams, but I remember not understanding the bit about the garden till I got quite a bit older.

    I’m a bit of a haphazard sort of gardener, but I persevere, have moments of great enthusiam, usually when I think about spring bulbs or fruiting trees, or tender perennials, and I read bits and then rarely put it into practice. I would love to have moved into a house with an old garden like you did….

  7. You might like Pilgrim at Tinker Creek or Teaching a Stone to talk by Annie Dilliard though, if you don’t know those…… American nature/mystic writer, beautiful extraordinary prose…..

  8. Ah, yes, those books ,I remember it well : )

    I know exactly what you mean about being a haphazard sort of a gardener – I think that I am too , I always plant far too much , put too many things in the veg. beds and don’t always pay as much attention as I should to pruning or plant placement – hence a higgledy piggledy sort of a garden – but thankfully the garden is that way anyway, so I’m not really committing any great crime against gardening (or the garden)there. Having said this, I do suspect that the vegetable planting was a LOT more uniform (and that the lines of carrots/parsnips/beetroot etc were MUCH straighter)when Mr P (previous Head Gardener here,God rest his soul)tended the garden ….

  9. Thankyou so much for those book recommendations – they do sound like my cup of tea and I am ready to read something new, so I shall tarck those down I think …that is something else that I love about blogging , great book recommendations getting passed around !

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